Anonymous asked: Maybe Jeff Bezos is only getting a divorce because he realised marriage is a type of union

ohmygodthanks:

This is the best anon ask I’ve ever received.

silver-boots:

steadfast:

vampireapologist:

You all, fools: *getting tattoos based on the ancient tattoos they find on bog mummies and the other ancient dead that for all you know will bind you to a forgotten god that now by all rights has a claim on your life for better or for worse*

Me, and intellectual: *doesnt fucking do that*

A forgotten god cannot run my life any worse than I am currently running it myself.

Bog mummy take the wheel

misandryad:

People keep posting ‘what’s REALLY in your food’ articles like I’m gonna stop eating whatever it’s about lmao
Listen, death is coming. Death is coming. Pass me a hot dog.

teashoesandhair:

If you think you’ve hit rock bottom, just remember that my bank once froze my accounts because I bought a healthy ready meal at my local supermarket and they classed it an ‘uncharacteristic purchase’

when you listen to music from the 70s and 80s

rite-of-darkness:

sasgalula:

coolkumquat:

potstickersandpizza:

novitiate2017:

Bandersnatch sounds like British slang for pussy

and yet “family-friendly” disney still hired him to play doctor strange. what a disgrace

this post is like getting smacked in the face twice

intense-wizardy:

pizzaforpresident:

I would take a bullet for garlic bread

who would shoot a garlic bread