DONT TELL ME HOW TO LIVE MY LIFE
Sherlock Holmes goes up to the counter, accompanied by an aged doctor. Holmes orders two grande Earl Grey teas with room for cream and sugar. He makes eye contact with the barista and says, “Yes, my dear, I know it was you.” The barista flees the scene, with Holmes in hot pursuit. Dogs howl in the distance. Holmes continues drinking his tea.
Gomenasai, my name is Ken-Sama.
I’m a 27 year old American Otaku (Anime fan for you gaijins). I draw Anime and Manga on my tablet, and spend my days perfecting my art and playing superior Japanese games. (Disgaea, Final Fantasy, Persona series)
I train with my Katana every day, this superior weapon can cut clean through steel because it is folded over a thousand times, and is vastly superior to any other weapon on earth. I earned my sword license two years ago, and I have been getting better every day.
I speak Japanese fluently, both Kanji and the Osaka dialect, and I write fluently as well. I know everything about Japanese history and their bushido code, which I follow 100%
When I get my Japanese visa, I am moving to Tokyo to attend a prestigious High School to learn more about their magnificent culture. I hope I can become an animator for Studio Ghibli or a game designer!
I own several kimonos, which I wear around town. I want to get used to wearing them before I move to Japan, so I can fit in easier. I bow to my elders and seniors and speak Japanese as often as I can, but rarely does anyone manage to respond.
Wish me luck in Japan!
Howdy, my name is Kenichi Smith.
I’m a 27 year old Japanese Toonaholic (Cartoon fan for you foreigners). I draw cartoons and comics on my tablet, and spend my days perfecting my art and playing superior American games. (Halo, Gears of War, Call of Duty)
I train with my 1911 every day, this superior weapon can shoot straight through steel because it kicks ass, and is vastly superior to any other weapon on earth. I earned my gun license two years ago, and I have been getting better every day.
I speak English fluently, both the Midwestern and the East Coast accents, and I write fluently as well. I know everything about American history and their Constitution, which I follow 100%
When I get my American visa, I am moving to New York to attend a prestigious High School to learn more about their magnificent culture. I hope I can become an animator for Nickelodeon or a game designer!
I own several cowboy outfits, which I wear around town. I want to get used to wearing them before I move to America, so I can fit in easier. I keep cool to my elders and seniors and speak English as often as I can, but rarely does anyone manage to respond.
Wish me luck in America!
Beep boop, my name is ASIMO.
I’m a 14 year old robot. I render models of humans, and spend my days perfecting my rendering and playing superior human games. (Hide and Seek, Tag, Red Rover)
I train with my humanoid fists every day, these superior weapons require no ammunition and cannot be broken or discarded. I earned my human black belt two years ago, and I have been getting better every day.
I speak human language fluently, both United States English and the Japanese languages, and I print characters fluently as well. I know everything about human history and their emotions, which I follow 100%
When I get my human society visa, I am moving to America to attend a prestigious High School for humans to learn more about their magnificent culture. I hope I can fit in and make friends with the other humans!
I own several articles of human clothing, which I wear around town. I want to get used to wearing them before I move to human society, so I can fit in easier. I greet humans with a uniquely-generated algorithm as to make each human encounter more personal and individual, but rarely does anyone manage to respond with an equally-complex algorithm.
Wish me luck in human society!
Van Gogh’s “The Starry Night” and Hokusai’s “The Great Wave off Kanagawa” in one painting
isn’t there a part of the bible where god gets mad at a fig tree for not having any figs on it and curses the fig tree?
yeah there legit is that’s 100% true
Oh my god
last time we reblogged this we got anon hate from the christian community. You guys really are passionate about your figs.
Reblog to the death
reblogging because I just noticed HE’S NOT EVEN THROWING THE KNIVES
HE’S USING A PINGPONG PADDLE TOO
how did we win the cold war
the graham norton show ft. diehard whovian peter capaldi
the highlighted area is where Jason Derulo knows what the girls want. london to taiwan.new york to haiti
greenland is right out
ummm no offense but new york to haiti should be measured as the area between the two latitudes, not the longitudes. this graph is incorrect and vastly underestimates the total region of the earth in which Jason Derulo knows what the girls want
Even measuring that way, Greenland remains right out, as does the entirity of Brazil.
Have we considered measuring by neither latitude nor longitude but in all area that would extend perpendicular from the diagonal of the two places?
There are many different interpretations of the data, and until more is available, we ought not conclude anything at this point.
In light of that, I posit this alternative map of regions where Jason Derulo is potentially claiming where he knows what girls want:
As we can see, if we assume that model, the vast majority of the area where Jason Derulo knows what girls want is either open ocean (the Atlantic, the Mediterranean Sea) or sparsely populated (the northern Sahara, the northern Arabian Desert, various desert portions of Iran and Afghanistan, and the southern Tibetan Plateau). Four of the ten most populated countries on the planet have no territory in it (Nigeria, Brazil, Japan, and Indonesia), and two which do have relatively little territory in it (the US and Russia). It is suggested that for all his boasting, Jason Derulo does not know what a probable majority of the world’s girls want.
Perhaps Jason Derulo’s intention was never to proclaim to be omnipotent to the interests of the female gender. Perhaps he was instead expressing his humanity, or the limits of his knowledge. I applaud Jason Derulo. Jason Derulo is not just another 2 dimensional character. Jason Derulo has depth.Jason Derulo has limitations and has come to terms with them. Jason Derulo knows Jason Derulo. Thats why he makes it a point to say his name so much.
Hannah Snowdon for Drop Dead
my idea of wealth has changed. when i was little i’d dream about living in a giant mansion with like a tennis court and a bowling alley and an indoor swimming pool and all other sorts of sports things i’d never use. now when i fantasize i’m like, “maybe someday i’ll be able to rent a one bedroom apartment and live there alone.”